The Definition of Clutch

26 August 2006
Manchester City 1 - 0 Arsenal

41' Barton (A)

The idea of this work is to bring "world football" consciuousness to the American consciousness. Yet for me, a lot of American consciousness is built on underground architecture. I learned to love America with music like Pavement and My Bloody Valentine, those are the types of bands that showed me that American music is worth any sort of chance. Yet if you listen to Dinosaur Jr., back to back with The Jesus and Mary Chain, you'll begin to sense the value we actually possess. It saddens me when I think of the many years I spent dawdling on alt-rock radio stations, listening over and over again to mediocre bands like Soul Coughing and Pearl Jam. I would make mix tapes of songs I enjoyed from the radio, as my mom refused to buy me many albums. Sometimes I wonder if I still have any of those tapes in storage: it would be wild to find one and play it, just for old times sake. I've always been into making mix tapes, either that way (which was very haphazard - obviously I couldn't have any kind of plan) or with a very methodical approach. I make mix CDs now of course, but still with the same amount of planning and thought - it can take over a week to complete a mix for a friend, as I debate my options, find out about new songs, et cetera et cetera. In fact, I'm always making a mix CD - I spend the entire year culling my favorite music into two CDs of what I consider the best of the year, which I often give away with presents around Christmas time. How do mix CDs apply to sports, you ask? Sometimes a mix CD works, sometimes a team doesn't. Chemistry. That's the easy answer, and the truer answer is that they don't really relate except insofar as I dig both. The point is, as I said at the beginning, that I don't view American culture from a mainstream perspective so I might not be the best hand to try and explain to that perspective how to appreciate something the rest of the world already does. The difference between sports and music then is that music is judged by popularity rather than talent. In sports, the popular players are the talented ones (and when the popular turn out to be not talented, well, then they become good SNL jokes!). This is not to say that there aren't any popular musicians who aren't good at their craft (although it sometimes feels that way!), just that skill does not determine success. Of course, skill in music is much more ambiguous - to be skilled in a genre of music, say, grunge, does not mean you're Jimi Hendrix; but you are a master of that craft, and in fairness can be rewarded as such. In sports however, it is much more cut and dry; although certain positions may rise to dominance over others, for the most part your talent determines your success. And of course, talent isn't everything - you must always be training in the off season. Plus, there is insurmountable pressure that would crush a person of normal fiber. That's why Tiger Woods is so impressive: by today's count, when he's entered Sunday with a lead during a major, he wins. Twelve for twelve. He does not lose. Tiger is the definition of clutch, and it is hard not to be mesmerized by his performances. Clutch is an important concept in sports, and it has become an absurdly popular word in everyday water-cooler talk. (sorry, interjection: Thierry just made an incredibly disappointing run. He had a glorious pass from van Persie and instead of charging through to the net, he dragged the ball right, into a web of three defenders! What were you thinking, buddy!?) It is most easily defined as "ice-water in the veins," as in, "Mariano Rivera has ice-water in his veins when it comes to ninth-inning saves." That is to say, a player is clutch when the pressure of the situation does not affect his performance. Examples of such situations are: game seven of the World Series, 1 minute left on a fourth down in the fourth quarter of an American Football game, the last four holes on a Sunday of a major, the last 10 minutes of FA Cup final. That last one, in case you did not guess, is a big to-do in England. I almost do not want to explain what the FA Cup is, because then I'd have to explain the FA and the rest of the mess, and honestly it makes my head hurt. I should stipulate that being clutch indeed must be proven over a long period of time: one great shot in your life will rarely get you remembered for anything (although Bucky Dent might have something to say about that). In other news, the first half of this Man City game has been an entirely frustrating experience, and I'm beginning to feel what Hornby expressed throughout his book. As you may have guessed, I'm writing this while I'm watching the game, a first for this project - and the result is that I just want to write expletives about the referees and Lady Luck. (we've hit the bar twice! Twice!) I find myself screaming every five minutes, at missed chances, at poor calls, at that goddamn Dickov - what a smug sonofabitch! These minutes, these chances, they slip by and I get more nervous; do we have any magic left? We have so much talent, but not so much killer instinct. Can we be the definition of clutch? Every misstep and miscue pains me, and suddenly I realize that maybe we will lose, maybe this season gets off to a terrible start. The Gunners got the Champions League final not three months ago and we're looking at the second half of the Premiere League table as our home for the third week of the 06/07 season. Curse you Hornby, I don't know if I can do this for almost four decades, I don't know if I can handle the stress and pain as you have since 1968. Suddenly the Arsenal players look like ravenous dogs; I can't see it in their eyes but they are bullying and scraping for every possession, assaulting the goal as if it were the Death Star. Every shot is blocked, every pass is intercepted. They recoup, steal the ball, and barrage once more. I can't write anymore. Well then. I guess I should have picked a different game to write about "clutch" - in fact, maybe I jinxed myself and the Guns, but that's the way life is, you can't go back and rewrite history. (On the other side of that argument are the City fans who no doubt praise Barton, a young gun midfielder who nailed a Penalty Kick, as a clutch player) Oh wait, you can. That's a charming thing about sports (and, separately but also not so, a charming thing about the internet): what's done is done, it's in the books, it ain't never gonna be changed. For the rest of my life, I'll know that Manchester City beat Arsenal on 26 August 2006 for the first time since Man City came up into the Premier League. Hilariously, or perhaps not so, they were the First Division Champions in 1968, the same year that Nick Hornby discovered football and Arsenal. Such are the lessons of humility that sports teach.